Don’t you mean, “When the f**k?”
If your question is still “WTF?” please see “About 8DI.”
2. Who, what, where are you?
Again, please see, “About 8DI.” Beyond that, we are an organization dedicated to providing you with an affordable Survival Assurance plan after the inevitable zombie outbreak.
3. What is Survival Assurance and what is the difference between that and “zombie insurance”?
Once The Pandemic hits, you will not be able to purchase security. Money will be irrelevant, except to burn for heat on cold nights for your children in a hideout. Our organization is currently putting the finishing touches on a Survivor Assurance policy that will allow you into one of our many Safe Zones, and you will be assigned to a Safe Zone upon purchase of our policy. We strive to make this affordable for all people who understand that once the outbreak is underway, only those prepared with security and Survivor Assurance will be able to not only survive, but thrive again.
4. What exactly is a Safe Zone?
A Safe Zone (often referred to as an “SZ”) is literally safety. It utilizes a highly secure perimeter wall enclosing a virus-free environment. These borders contain a functional area for eating, sleeping, hygienic facilities, etc. These Safe Zones are being constructed at various undisclosed locations so that once The Pandemic occurs, the threat of “TZ’s” (target zombies) is neutralized within the borders of a Safe Zone. These areas are not only protected by the perimeter wall, but also by a highly trained, highly armed paramilitary force. The goal of a Safe Zone is to allow you to regain a semblance of life after outbreak becomes pandemic.
5. What Can I expect in a Safe Zone?
Our organization follows the acronym of “L.I.F.E.”
L: Liberty; In a Safe Zone, you will not be controlled by or subjugated to a lifestyle that is not of your own choosing, provided that said lifestyle does not interfere with the liberty of another survivor.
I: Involvement; All survivors are encouraged to be involved in the day-to-day decision making processes affecting their community. There will be issues of meal scheduling, cleaning duties, as well as the matter of self-governance.
F: Food; Food, Shelter, Hygiene.
E: Education; Our staff will provide survivors with the knowledge and techniques required to identify and eliminate the threat of virus. We will train you in survival techniques for once the virus has been neutralized worldwide. We propose self-sufficiency.
This is “life within the wall.”
6. Who can I bring with me?
Unfortunately, only policy holders will be allowed within the Safe Zones. If you do not have the I.D. card provided with your policy, you may as well be a zombie. (See Captain Manser’s blog from Sept. 2, 2009.)
7. Where are these “Safe Zones,” anyway?
Safe Zones are strategically located to service the communities that will need them. At this time, exact locations will not be divulged due to security concerns. A Safe Zone isn’t safe if everyone knows its exact location. Rest assured, however, there is a Safe Zone available for you and your loved ones.
8. How will you get me to a Safe Zone after outbreak?
Our extraction teams have been chosen from the most well-trained pilots, medics, and combat soldiers worldwide. Once the outbreak is officially deemed “The Pandemic,” we will begin extracting policy holders from the address provided upon membership purchase. Our organization’s extraction teams have resources allowing them the ability to relocate survivors, including helicopters, armored vehicles, and independently operated GPS systems.
9. How long after outbreak does Eighth Day go into action?
Eighth Day International is already in action, however extraction and relocation takes place when our Department of Preparedness deems the outbreak an official “Pandemic.” Visiting this site will give you the tools you need to last until we arrive.
10. Will I be able to contact my friends and family?
If your friends and family are policy holders living within your district, you may find them in your Safe Zone. Unfortunately, inter-district communication amongst Safe Zones will be dependent on each survivor’s involvement in such matters (see FAQ 5.)
11. Is Eighth Day the government?
While our method of security is provided by a paramilitary force, we are NOT affiliated with any government. The basic nature of Eighth Day International is HUMANitarian.
12. Then, why is the policy going to be so affordable?
It is the feeling of the Eighth Day International founders that questions such as these are none of your concern. It is imperative that our organization does not reveal certain aspects of our business so we can provide the personal security that we do.
13. Will I be safe from other survivors in my Safe Zone?
Our staff will include an experienced team to help guide your community throughout the process of self-governance. We would like for individual Safe Zone members to devise their own systems of law and order.
14. What can I expect when I buy a policy?
You can expect to receive your own “L.I.F.E.” Survivor Pack. This includes a frame-worthy certificate signed by the founders of Eighth Day International, the terms of your policy, a membership card designating your district and Safe Zone codes, and a sticker.
15. Where and when can I get Survivor Assurance?
The policy will be sold only from Eighth Day International’s official websitebeginning on November 15th, 2009. Unlike the American government, our policy will arrive on time.
16. Is this serendipity?
Funny, we were just thinking that. (See “About 8DI.”)