A letter from the 8DI brass.
For someone who grew up terrified of Pet Cemetary, I’ve come a long way: I now run a multi-billion dollar corporation providing Survival Assurance to millions of everyday workers. It’s not that I love humanity that much…it’s not even that I’m greatly business-minded.
You don’t have to be a fan of Shawn of the Dead to realize we’re all walking around as zombies already. We’re miserable. The great, arguable wheel of progress has churned to a halt while we bicker amongst ourselves out of boredom. Dreams are buried in the briefcase-paperwork brought home. Sacrifices are made just to survive. Humanity has been all too content let whining maggots, teenagers, create and define the great art of our time…for too long. Every day, chances are that you’re a zombie already.
This company was founded on the ideal that we decapitate, maim and blow up all the mundane bullshit that keeps us from being our creative, genuine and curious selves. Our policies offer the common male or female or transgendered or purple human the chance to stand up with a sense of humor in the face of everyday, boring oppression.
Not only that, but in the case of a zombie pandemic, you KNOW you’re safe. It’s a win-win scenario for anyone whose read this far into our website. We salute you, cherish you and want you to be one of the new cornerstones of humanity.
The Zombie Rules.
The Walking Dead television show’s official Twitter account has started broadcasting the rules governing zombie behavior on the AMC show. We’ve been very excited to pick these up, and are sure that others will follow. 8DI is hoping that the writers will be able to stick to the rules as well as the zombies, and we look forward to helping fans call out the mistakes.
Tom Cheredar, from GeeksofDoom.com, writes, “Within those rules, they do well to reference classic zombie films like Night of the Living Dead and offer parallels to primal animalistic behaviors.”
Here are the first seven rules. Keep your eyes open for more rules as the debut day draws near…then tune in for the show’s 90-minute premiere Sunday, October 31 at 10pm EST.
Zombie Rule #1
Ability to run is based on the amount of time a zombie has been undead, and how much decay has set in.
Zombie Rule #2
Zombies decay but at a much slower rate than humans, and it’s still possible to differentiate between young and old zombies.
Zombie Rule #3
Zombies are like lions: if they’ve eaten, you can walk by them without fear, but a pack of hungry zombies will attack you.
Zombie Rule #4
The quickest speed of any zombie is a shambling run. see Night of the Living Dead. NO sprinters exist.
Zombie Rule #5
Zombies are not dexterous. They cannot pick up or use any items more complex than a rock or a stick.
Zombie Rule #6
Zombies have poor eyesight but they do have a strong sense of smell.
Zombie Rule #7
Zombies cannot speak but can communicate by pack mentality. The herd tends to move together if they sight food.
Devil’s Crossing – A Zombie Western
What do you do with an indie-flick that promises some major gore (and by the looks of the website, boobs.) It will be released in the first half of 2010, and 8DI hopes it lives up to it’s self-proclaimed reputation:
“Distributors said the script was “too violent” and “some characters are sickingly aggressive”. We’re gluttons for punishment… so we’re making the film anyway. Devil’s Crossing is our twisted vision of the wild west when the dead rise up to consume the last remnants of humanity, and we’re making the film no matter what… even if it consumes us in the process.”
Watch the Teaser Trailer HERE.
An official trailer will be released in April and, as always, 8DI will keep you up to date. It’s always good to learn how many zombies you can handle with just a six-shooter.
**UPDATE – Rick Grimes Goes Live this October on AMC.**
To follow up on the story (link above) of how AMC will be airing ‘The Walking Dead’ as a hit TV show, the Hollywood Reporter stated this morning that the show will air this October. We expect it will be a huge hit. See the rest of the update HERE.
Life After the Pandemic…
…Doesn’t have to be lonely. So says ZombieHarmony–the number one site for rotting couples. Check them out, and sign up if you aren’t going to get 8DI protection (because if you do, you wont become a zombie. Guaranteed.)
We here at Eighth Day International would like….what is it the kids are doing these days? High-fiving? Yes. We here at Eighth Day International would like to “high-five” this social network dedicated to making documentaries (and Zombies squirm.) Yes, try reading that without punctuation.
Asheville Zombie Walk a Success. Millions Die.
The 8th Day team stormed through the mountain rain to find the Ashville survivors dead and well. As the LIVING dead of Ashville, NC have a face off with city hall over their constitutional right to assemble, they still welcome newcomers with their blood soaked arms wide open. The team found the Asheville Zombies, embattled as they may be, to have the right mood for a brighter, happier apocolypse ahead of them. Walk on.
By the way, check out our friends at the Ashetoberfest site for information on next year’s walk. They have overcome the hordes of red tape and made sure things are back on track. In the meantime, familiarize yourself with the zombies below. You can never be too desensitized to the infection. Otherwise, how will you pull the trigger when it really matters?